I had a 10-minute drive down 15-501. 10 minutes was how long it took my parents and I, in our jam packed Subaru, to drive down the road and land at my new home not so far away from home: Ehringhaus Residence Hall. I wanted nothing more than for that 10-minute drive to magically turn into 10 hours. I hadn’t been nervous about college until the car started moving and the minutes started ticking away. I wanted to stay in that car forever.
Spoiler alert: I could not stay in that car forever. So after 10 minutes, we hopped on out and started moving my light pink and white room decorations up the four flights of stairs in the North Carolina summer heat. I took my first steps into my cinderblock room and my stomach dropped. How were these 4 walls and two twin beds going to become home? I tried my best to keep my composure as we hauled an endless amount of stuff up and down those stairs, and it was all fun and games until I noticed one thing, one crucial detail: the headboard of my bed could not lay flesh against the wall. The AC unit protruded from the wall just enough so that I could not push my bed against the wall, and that was my tipping point.
As insignificant as that may seem, those 6 inches were the last straw, and the tears spilled out. I looked at my parents with tears welling over and they knew I needed a break. They made the executive choice to pause our move-in process and walk to the Starbucks on campus - there is nothing a frappuccino can’t fix.
I took one sip of that coffee frappuccino, my favorite drink on the planet, and through tears squeaked out, “It’s TOO sweet.” Never had I ever uttered those words before. The theatrics were in full swing and my parents knew they had to rip the band aid off. They walked me back to the path that led to my dorm, gave me one last big hug, and told me to go finish moving myself in. It was time to walk into that room all on my own and start the next four years. And off I went.
Flash forward four years and one global pandemic later, and here I am trying to do the impossible – say thank you to the people that moved me into that tiny room and the place that gave me the opportunities of a lifetime. I really don’t think I will ever have the right words to express enough gratitude, but sometimes you gotta just jump right in.
To mom - When I think of what it means to be a Tar Heel, I think of you. For as long as I can remember, you have had Carolina blue scrubs on and matching pompoms in hand. Little did you know that when you took that job as a pediatric nurse at UNC Hospitals all those years ago, you would be impacting your little one’s life trajectory THIS much. I wanted to go to UNC because of those pompoms, because of you. You are the person who brought me to the UNC volleyball, football, softball, and basketball games every season. The person that turned my blood Carolina blue and taught me what it means to be a true fan. The hand I held at the final minutes of every Duke game. The person that taught me Hark the Sound and let me sing “Go to HELL Duke!” even at a young age, and the person who relearned it officially at freshmen orientation with me 15 years later. When I got waitlisted from Carolina, I was upset for both of us. Not because I felt like I had let you down, but because I knew how badly you wanted this for me. It was OUR dream. You were ready to be a Carolina mom, you were born to be one! Things have a funny way of working out, don’t they?
When I think of Carolina, I think of opportunities. They are everywhere at a place like this. And every time I was faced with a new opportunity, I heard your voice in the back of my mind, saying, “Don’t waste it!” It’s those three words that told me to study abroad the summer after my freshmen year, to become an Admissions Ambassador during my first year, to rush Franklin Street, to sit in Boshamer stadium, to dance in Memorial Hall, to audition for an acapella group, to sip from the Old Well and even buy a neon pink ski mask for a certain UNC tradition. You taught me how to soak up a place, and I truly believe I have soaked up as much as I possibly can from Chapel Hill. I have done all the things! And because of this, I feel excited and ready for my next chapter. I have you to thank for this, for teaching me to carry enthusiasm in all things and to enjoy the highs, the lows and everything in between. Four years ago I told you I wanted to wear that Carolina blue robe, and now here I am. Thank you for encouraging me every step of the way. And you better keep rushing Franklin Street for me long after I’m gone, don’t you dare waste it!
And to you, Dad - Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, has the same zest for life that you do. I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet to have gotten a fraction of your charisma. I will never forget freshmen year, when I unexpectedly came home for the night without your knowing. I was sitting in my room when I heard you walk up the garage stairs and open the door. I popped up and exclaimed “Hi Dad!!!” And your response was tears of excitement. You were genuinely THAT excited to see me, and you let your emotions show. Never stop doing that. Many people I know talk about wishing for a more personal, emotional relationship with their Dad. You are an outlier. Once again, I am one lucky girl.
I picked my career path because of you (and your mom, and your sister). The Billings family writing gene is a strong one, and one that has come in handy. The job application process is a daunting task for any graduating senior, but for me, it was honestly exciting, and that is once again, because of you, and the skills I got from you. I spent my whole life watching you make a name for yourself, branding your business, and capitalizing on the most important thing we have - human connections. For the last 5 years, I have really and truly watched you love your work, and what an example that has been. You taught me to find something that I love to do and chase after it, and I would not have chased down my dream post-grad job without your support. Whenever I had a paper, presentation, interview, or project, the first person to ask me how it went was always you. Every time. And I could tell that you weren’t just asking to check a box, you were genuinely so interested and invested in my work. Your excitement for my academic and professional development has always meant the world to me, and most importantly, it made me feel supported and excited during perhaps the biggest transition time of my life. You will always be the first person I call when I have exciting news, or when I need someone to lift me back up. Thank you for telling me to dream big, for leading by example, and for teaching me the skills to make those dreams happen. And most importantly, thank you for all the lunch dates, book signings, video shoots, ice cream cones, and car rides we shared these 4 years, I would not trade those moments for the world. The next lunch date is on me, in Washington DC!
And lastly, to Chapel Hill. To the place I have been lucky to call home my entire life. To the university I dreamed of attending, the university I will be saying goodbye to in my Carolina blue robe this wonderful May weekend. To every single person who has believed in me and helped me make these past four years what they were. To my hometown best friends, to Estes Hills, Phillips Middle and East Chapel Hill High. To South campus, the Bungalow and South Graham Street. To UNC Admissions, Blank Canvas, Coulture Magazine, Purple Bowl, and every single UNC sports team. To Sarah Cate and Holly and Grace. To the Hussman School, Professors Freeman, Palmer, Cohen, and Cabowsky. To my Pangea girls, and to SO. MANY. MORE. Thank you. Thank you for making this place even more of a home to me. Thank you for being my Why Carolina.
And to Sam, Mom and Dad, and to my Nana and Gramps and aunts and uncles too. Thank you for supporting me every step of the way and for making my dream of being a Tar Heel come true. The baby of the family is officially done with college, and it is all thanks to you. We did it. And just like that first sip of my college move-in frappuccino, it has all been far too sweet.
Comments