Sam and I have had at least one class together every semester of college, and this is entirely because I don’t think I can do a semester without him. Sam makes each and every task one thousand times better; he is the life of the party, even in the classroom. Whenever Sam and I are walking around campus, we can’t go 20 feet without running in to a friend of his. This boy knows everybody, he is what I like to call “UNC famous.” Sam is about as extroverted as they come, thrives off being the center of attention and loves to command a room. I have known Sam since 6th grade, and his transition into the confident extrovert that he is today is something I am so lucky to have witnessed.
When I met Sam in 6th grade, he was not the same guy I know today. Yes, everybody changes as they grow up, but Sam didn’t just change, he blossomed. Having grown up together, one of our favorite conversation topics is talking about all our middle school memories. There were lots of good days, like the times we did “glitter showers” and poured glitter ALL over each other in our English class (Poor Ms. Scott is all I have to say about that). But when we look back, it’s astonishing to see how far Sam has come. Back then, he was a slightly shy kid struggling with identity, and today, he is probably the most confident person I know. When I asked him what he loves most about himself, Sam told me, “My confidence. For the longest time I would sit and watch others and then regretfully ask myself “Why didn’t I get up there with them? Why didn’t I go dance?” Sam’s confidence was not something he was born with; it was not innate. But through the course of high school, he stopped passing up opportunities to be himself. He told me that people always ask him what the secret is to being confident and uniquely himself, and he says, “There is truly no secret to it. It sounds cliché but it is nothing more than accepting your whole self” To Sam, it’s simply about going after the things you want, and not letting anyone take that away from you. He has a can-do attitude, the kind of mentality that says: if you want to do it, do it. The Sam we know and love today is that person he once wished he would be, dancing in the middle of the party, usually with a flawless outfit, perfect rhythm, and maybe even some glitter still stuck in his hair.
Something that I admire about Sam is his passion for activism. His approach to promoting the causes he finds important is unique. “I am most passionate about being an activist. But, in a non-intimidating way.” To Sam, activism is not entirely about making posters and screaming at protests, (although he will never miss an opportunity to rock a pride parade), but it is primarily based on honest conversation and relating to others. He told me that he is passionate about being “brown, gay and flamboyant”. These qualities define him, and while he takes upmost pride in his identity, it hasn’t always been easy. Being an outwardly gay person of color automatically means that you are going to stand out, and there is no way around it. Sam told me that people stare at him daily, because of the way he talks, the way he dresses, and any other way he differs from the status quo. This is a situation nobody should have to deal with, but Sam has taken lemons, and made lemonade. He is open about his experiences as being a flamboyant, multi-racial, gay college student, and this allows him to show others how to better embrace themselves. To him, this serves as an opportunity to be an activist and to be open and honest about experiences. He is notoriously known as being an open book, because he never wants anybody to feel as though their experiences or defining qualities make them any lesser of a human being. As someone that stands out, he feels as though he has a responsibility to relay to others that their experiences and identities are valid and valued, even when they sometimes make you feel ostracized.
While his confidence and energy serve as two defining qualities of his personality, Sam told me that he wishes more people knew that he has a soft side too. It is easy to pigeon-hole our energetic and funny friends into a single category, but it is important to acknowledge that they are loved and valued for more than just their liveliness. I know first-hand that Sam has a lot of depth to him, and while he is always my go-to for a dance party, he is also an impeccably loyal friend. His friends turn to him when they need honesty. His attentiveness and deep concern for those close to him allows him to give advice and honesty in ways that most friends can’t. He has an incredible ability to tell it how it is, but in a way that lifts you up and makes you feel loved. He told me that a few years ago, he realized that he wasn’t being the best listener, and upon noticing this, he made a conscious effort to work on it. Now, he is the friend you go to when you simply need to be heard. This to me is the sign of an amazing friend. He saw in himself the areas he was falling short in supporting those around him and not only acknowledged this issue but changed his behavior. This is growth at its finest and is one of the qualities I respect most in him.
There are simply not enough words to describe what Sam means to me. He is different in all the best ways and beautiful inside and out. Since 6th grade, Sam has made my life so much more colorful and joy-filled, and his friendship is one I will cherish for a lifetime. I admire his courage, ability to try new things and live a life by his own free will. Sam is one of a kind, and if you have the chance to get to know him, take it. With class registration coming up quickly, one of my first priorities is going to be sitting down with him and making sure we enroll for yet another class together, because at this point, it’s pretty much a necessity.
*Follow @sgrizzly00 on Instagram and get excited for Pride Month. Sam is in the process of creating an entire pride series for the month of June, and trust me, you are not going to want to miss it!
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